If you haven't driven past BYU in the past 6 months you might not know... Heritage Halls is coming down. They are replacing it new 5-story apartment complexes and merging it all with the old DT complex which has already been replaced by this new style apartment. I was over there last night in Harris Hall signing contracts with my renters for next year and I was dismayed to see that Snow Hall was already gone! (The first photo is of Snow back in the day, the second I took of Wells Hall last night). I had hoped to have one last look. But since all of Heritage is very similar, being in Harris was still like stepping back in to the past. It was a strange feeling to be back on my old Freshman stomping grounds on the eve of it ceasing to exist. It brought back a lot of memories and emotions. I could feel again all the excitement and newness and discovery as well as the weight of stress and uncertainty and nervousness. Meeting up with those freshman girls last night there was a part of me that felt like I was still one of them - I could step in to their apartment and start that life again as if I'd never left. It was hard to believe I had a husband and three kids, an income and a mortgage, wrinkles and gray hairs. But really I knew I couldn't possibly go back to being that silly or staying up that late or feeling so foolishly passionate about everything and everyone. The truth is I now have a contentment and security I never experienced in those Freshman days of wondering if I'd ever have a husband and kids. I now have a different perspective on life that makes me... well, not all grown up by any means... just a different creature than I was before.
I stood for a moment in the dark and cold last night and thought how sad it is that my growing-up years were being taken down. But I also didn't relish the sadness of the nostalgia. It is perfectly wonderful for life to move on and leave the old behind. As the winter destroys the fruits of last summer so a new crop can grow and nourish us, so should old buildings and old memories come down so that new life and new creatures can flourish. And with that I went ahead and said 'goodbye' to an old friend.
4 comments:
Noooooooo!!! Wells Hall was mine! I actually really do get sentimental about stuff like that. I love all that you said though. A lot of maturing HAS happened over the past 10ish years. Those new apartments look pretty darn nice. Just don't ever have a post up about them tearing Sparks II down.
It's been crazy seeing them all torn down like that. I too am grateful for the life and perspective I have now. I think the reason I still love walking around BYU campus and feel nostalgic is because it helped me become the person I am today, and that's a good thing. So not really living in the past, but grateful that it happened. :)
Rachel sent me a link to your post. Wow, I had no idea! I have very fond memories of Wells Hall and all that I learned about myself there. But you put it very well in describing the self-confidence and security that comes with time and a family.
Thanks for posting the bottom photo. That looks so nice! Maybe for my child someday...
I absolutely loved the way you described the feelings of freshman year compared with now. Well said! I also agree with Rachel that I get sentimental about it all. I kind of hate that we can't take our kids back there and show them where we lived. But they probably wouldn't care, right? If Sparks is still standing (which I have my doubts) many years from now we can take them there :).
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